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Matt
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Porn DVD screams prompt sword 'rescue'
http://news.yahoo.com/s/ap/20070221/ap_ ... ord_charge

OCONOMOWOC, Wis. - A man says he broke into an apartment with a cavalry sword because he thought he heard a woman being raped, but the sound actually was from a pornographic movie his upstairs neighbor was watching.

"Now I feel stupid," said James Van Iveren, who has been charged in the case. "This really is nothing, nothing but a mistake."

According to a criminal complaint, the neighbor told police that Van Iveren pounded on the door and kicked it open without warning Feb. 12, damaging the frame and lock.

"Where is she?" Van Iveren demanded, thrusting the sword at the neighbor, the complaint said. "Where is she?"

The neighbor told police Van Iveren became increasingly aggressive as he repeated the question, insisting that he had heard a woman being raped. The complaint said that, with the sword pointed at him, the neighbor led Van Iveren throughout the apartment, opening closet doors to prove he was alone.

The neighbor later played for police the part of the DVD he believed Van Iveren heard downstairs.

Van Iveren, 39, of Oconomowoc, was charged with criminal trespass, criminal damage and disorderly conduct, all while using a dangerous weapon, and is due in court March 5. Together, the misdemeanor counts carry a maximum sentence of 33 months in jail.

Van Iveren said Tuesday that he heard a woman "screaming for help," grabbed the sword, bounded up the stairs, kicked in the apartment door and confronted the man who lived there.

"I intended to hold it behind my back and knock. But I froze and instead, what happened happened," he told the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel.

Contesting his neighbor's account, Van Iveren said he didn't look anywhere in the apartment except the front room, and that he never threatened the neighbor with the sword.

"I had the sword extended. But that was all," he said.

Van Iveren, who lives with his mother in the downstairs apartment, said he did not call police when he heard the noises because he does not have a telephone. He said he barely knew the upstairs tenant.

Police seized Van Iveren's sword, which he said was a family heirloom.
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Matt
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Fighting surgeons leave patient in the lurch
http://www.reuters.com/article/oddlyEno ... 7820070221

BELGRADE (Reuters) - A routine appendix operation in Belgrade went badly wrong when two surgeons started fighting and stormed from the operating theater to settle their dispute outside, the daily Politika reported Wednesday.

Surgeon Spasoje Radulovic was operating when his colleague Dragan Vukanic entered and made a remark that started a quarrel, said the anesthesiologist on duty.

"At one moment Vukanic pulled the ear of the operating doctor, slapped him in the face and walked out," she said.

Radulovic followed and an all-out fight ensued, resulting in bruises, a split lip, loose teeth and a fractured finger.

The operation was completed successfully by the attending assistant doctor.
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Matt
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Falling woman saved by pile of...

BEIJING (Reuters) - A Chinese woman survived a plunge from a sixth-floor balcony thanks to a convenient pile of excrement which broke her fall, local media said.

The accident happened when the woman was hanging out laundry on Monday in Nanjing, capital of the eastern province of Jiangsu, the Kuaibao tabloid said on its Web site (http://www.kuaibao.net).

"Workers happened to be emptying the building's septic tank, which had not been tended for a long time and had regularly blocked sewage pipes," the newspaper said.

"She probably stretched out too far and fell ... right on to a 20 cm-thick heap of excrement."

The woman suffered only slight injuries, the newspaper said.

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlene ... AUNDRY.xml
nvr2low

all i can say is wow!!
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Dentist guilty of urinating in surgery sink

Thu Apr 5, 2:13 PM ET

LONDON (Reuters) - A dentist was found guilty on Thursday of urinating in his surgery sink and using dental tools meant for patients to clean his fingernails and ears.

A medical tribunal said it was satisfied the evidence showed 51-year-old Alan Hutchinson, who routinely did not wear gloves or wash his hands, had risked the health of "himself, staff and patients" for more than 28 years.

A dental nurse who worked for Hutchinson for 16 years said she had caught him urinating in the sink more than once.

"He was tucking something into his trousers before zipping them up hastily. I walked over and I was behind him. He moved to the left and I could smell urine," the nurse told the tribunal.

The tribunal determined that the dentist's poor hygiene habits made him unfit to practice and struck him off the dental register, banning him from work.

"You urinated into a sink in your surgery following which you did not wash your hands and then proceeded to treat a patient. This behaviour was clearly inappropriate and is completely unacceptable," the tribunal chairman said.
This story makes me feel a little better about peeing in the sink in the back of the cellar at my parents house because I was too lazy to go up a flight of stairs.
TJC

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There's definitely material here for a joke about bad British teeth but I can't think of one offhand.
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http://www.wimbledonguardian.co.uk/news ... t_milk.php

Woman accused of spraying cop with breast milk

An 18-year-old woman is to appear at Richmond Magistrates' Court accused of assaulting a police officer with breast milk.

Felicha Marin, of Palmerston Road, in Acton, was charged with shoplifting and assault after being arrested on March 29.

It is alleged she was detained for trying to steal shoes from Lizard, in Hill Street, Richmond. After being arrested for theft she sprayed an officer with milk from her right breast.
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"Ghost ship" mystery puzzles rescuers

http://today.reuters.com/news/articlene ... HT-ODD.xml

SYDNEY (Reuters) - Australian rescuers were on Friday trying to solve the "Mary Celeste" style mystery of a yacht found floating off the coast with its engine running, food on its table ready to eat, but no crew.

The 12-metre (36 feet) catamaran was found 80 nautical miles off Townsville on the northeast coast, but there was no sign of the three crewmen who had set sail from Queensland state bound for Australia's west coast Sunday.

"What they found was a bit strange in that everything was normal, there was just no sign of the crew," Jon Hall from emergency management in Queensland told local radio Friday.

Hall said the yacht's sails were up but one was badly shredded. He said the engine was running, there was food on the table, a laptop was turned on, and the radio and global positioning satellite (GPS) were working.

Three life jackets and survival equipment, including an emergency beacon, were found on board, but no life rafts.

The Mary Celeste was an abandoned "ghost ship" found off the coast of Portugal in 1872. None of the Mary Celeste's crew or passengers were ever found.

The KAZ 11 was spotted adrift on the outer Great Barrier Reef Wednesday. Rescue crews boarded the vessel Friday but there was no sign of the three crew men, aged 56, 63 and 69.

Police said weather conditions at sea Sunday and Monday were rough. "There was a fair sort of a wind out there but it's improved since then, so who knows what could've happened," said Police Chief Superintendent Roy Wall,.

Rescuers have retrieved the boat's GPS system to analyze data for clues to the mysterious disappearance of the crew.

"That will now enable us to track backwards where this yacht has actually been in the last few days, and we're hoping that can pinpoint the search area for the missing crew," said Hall.
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